The end….also the beginning

Well, the 90 Day Challenge has been over for almost 2 weeks which were probably the most busy and stressful 2 weeks of my life!  So my final count as far as physical changes go are:  30 pounds lost and over 16 inches gone!  In the past month I have gotten many comments/compliments so people are definitely starting to notice which is great motivation to keep going.  I believe I hit a PR (personal record) on each benchmark challenge that we did…….either an improvement in the time it took to complete the workout or in the amount of weight used.  Mentally I have gained a lot of confidence and I now have a more positive outlook on the future.  I didn’t have that for a long time.  I am now signed up for 2 local 5ks and am training to be ready for them.  I have gotten a lot more adventurous as far as paleo food goes and I will continue to work on getting more veggies into my diet.  I competed in the XY Games and although I was a nervous wreck, my partner made me feel completely at ease and somehow I was able to have fun!

So now that the challenge is done I have to set some new goals for myself.  I would really like to get to the point where I am using Rx weights in some of the benchmark workouts – especially Fran.  Of course I would like to continue to lose weight and gain strength.  I have about 3 1/2 months until my 1 year anniversary with ACF/CCP.  I would like to lose at least another 20 pounds by then, of course I’, aiming for more but from other peoples experience it sounds like weight loss will begin to slow at some point so I don’t want to set unrealistic goals.  Mostly I would just like to continue to be proud of myself and believe that I am capable of doing things that I once thought were impossible.

As far as the winners of the challenge, no announcement has been made yet. All of the participants were individually required to submit our final numbers/accomplishments etc and make a 90 second video including reasons why we should win the challenge.  I had a great idea/theme for mine….Rocky Balboa running through the streets of Philadelphia up the steps of that meseum…I was gonna replicate that at the state capitol building in Albany and have the theme music “Gonna Fly Now” playing.  Got down there with my “crew”, got all my scenes recorded and came home only to have something go horribly wrong where I was not able to get them from the camera to the computer.  FAIL!  Well, if anything it was a great workout running up those damn steps all day.  My nieces and my daughter were a bit disappointed that they would not make their world premieres but hey time was running out and I had to get a video in!  So the one I submitted was “eh” but it’s done.  I feel like a 90 pound kettlebell was lifted off my shoulders once I hit submit!

So one challenge complete but a lifetime to keep working hard and being the best Jam that I can be!  I hope if you are reading this you will be inspired to be the best that you can be too…..you are definitely worth it!

10 Days Left

Well there are officially 10 days left in this 90 Day Challenge.  Is it crazy to say that I am a little disappointed about that?  I remember day 1 and being so cranky and irritated from sugar withdrawal and thinking that there was no way that I would make it to the end.  Now the end is fast approaching and I’m more like “Wait, that’s it?”  I have a mini goal for these final 10 days and that is to round out my weight loss to an even 30 pounds.  I am SO close but we’ll see whatever the number is in the end I’ll take it.  I never set a weight loss goal for myself at the beginning of the challenge.  I was too afraid to set one because I was so worried that I would not meet it and I would be humilated.  I can tell you for certain though, if I had set one, it would not have been 30 pounds.  I didn’t know that being this close to losing 30 pounds in 90 days was possible!   I guess there’s a lot of things I didn’t know before the challenge….I had no idea that I had this much drive, determination and willpower in me. I had no idea that I would increase my Fran weight by 20 pounds in 60 days.  I NEVER DREAMED that I would run a 5k on my own and not stop once!  I definitely did not see myself reaching out to others to be a mentor for them as they start on their Crossfit journey or that I would inspire others to get up and get moving.    The one thing I did know on day 1 was that I wanted to be successful.  And so I focused on getting though day one, then two and three until next thing I knew I had no idea what number day I was on because it wasn’t the challenge anymore, it was just my routine.  And this routine I will continue long after the challenge has ended.   So while the challenge is winding down, my deternmination to succeed is winding up and I know that I will continue to lose weight and gain strength and break mental barriers that have held me back for way too long!

 

Sunday WOD & Running (jogging??)

Yesterday was a very exhausting day for me.  I hit the 10 AM WOD at CCP which started with turkish get-ups, lots of them!  There are about 3 people who read this blog and I am pretty sure you all know what turkish get-ups are but just in case…you are basically going from a fetal position to a standing postion while keeping a kettlebell overhead with one hand.  I used an 18 pound kettlebell.  So the object was to do 50 turkish get-ups with a 30 minute time limit.  It sounds easy and I have done these in the kettlebell class so I thought, no sweat I got this.  Yea, 30 minutes later time is called and I just completed 40 turkish get-ups.  I was EXHAUSTED!   Next we did 5 sets of 10 max jump burpees with 30 seconds in between each set…basically taking the jump at the end of a burpee as high as it could go.  OMG, I love burpees but I HATE max jump burpees.  I don’t like any modification to the burpee actually, leave it alone with its burpee perfectness. I did these but they knocked the wind out of me and I had sweat pouring off of me in buckets but I finished!  I have no idea what my time was I could not see with all the sweat running into my eyes but I know that I was the last one done.

After I was home for a bit and my daughter was out for the day I decided to continue couch to 5k training.  I got all set to go out and run on the local track but when I got there it was locked up so I came home to use the treadmill.  When I got here I decided, forget the training, just set a goal and run.  So I said to myself I will run a mile and then stop.  I did set my pace really slow, I think it was 3.5 miles per hour which I know is really slow but I have never run a full mile before so I figured I would get tired if I tried to go faster than that, especially since I already did a WOD in the morning. I guess that would be considered jogging but for someone like me – it’s all the same thing.   Well the good thing is I ran 1.5 miles and could have kept going but I had things I needed to get other stuff done.  The bad thing is that pace really was way too slow and I could have gone faster but I decided to stick with it and be patient since the actual 5k I am training for is not until June….so today was a rest day and tomorrow I have decided to try 2 miles at 4.5 miles per hour.

I got to work today and my cousin who works in the same office must have read my fb post about running and she told me how proud she was of me and then she says you have inspired me to get running again (She used to run in marathons before she broke a leg and gained weight).  So she asked me if I would like to sign up for some Corporate Challenge run in May, so now I am doing that run also and I feel good because people are telling me I inspire them to get moving and I just love that.  I love the snowball effect that working hard and taking care of yourself can have!!

Oh on a final note, us challengers have been challenged to do paleo/zone diet for 2 weeks.  Well, probably not what anyone wants to hear but I am opting out of this.  Not that I don’t believe it is effective because I absolutely do, but I just don’t want to fix what isn’t broken right now, if it sways how I do in the challenge that is fine because that is how strongly I feel about it right now and honestly I have already declared myself a winner because of the progress I have made since January 1st in my diet, in my performance, in my confidence and in my determination to “finish what I started.”

 

Fran :0)

Today’s WOD was Fran….the same WOD that everyone in the 90 day challenge hit on January 1st – day one of the challenge.  21 – 15 – 9 Thrusters and pull ups.   On January 1st I did this WOD with a 35# bar and ring rows in 5:17.  Today I went 20# heavier!!  Yes my time was 53 seconds more but I’ll take it.  First of all the 55# was a PR.  My heaviest thruster before today was 45#  but I had this voice in my head tonight telling me to go big or go home.  So I went as big as I could, grabbed the 35# bar 2 10# weights and tried it. HEAVY….but not so heavy that I couldn’t do it.  But could I do it 21 times??  I told myself no and considered changing weights and Eric says 30 seconds and I realized too late to turn back now so I got into position and just picked up the bar and started moving….did 10 thrusters before I put the bar down, 6 more….5 good!  Flew through the rows and back to that bar.  I broke these up I think it was 4, 5, 6 then ring rows again 9 thrusters left and I just busted them out got on the rings and made it to the end.  6:10!  Going 20# heavier than I did 65 days ago to me is a great accomplishment so I am only going to focus on the positives now.  Yes I do not look the way that I want to look…..”my ideal self” BUT I am doing things that I never thought possible and I feel AMAZING!  And I am going after more PRs this week….I know that I can do this!

I should not be feeling down

Today I am feeling down.  I know why and it’s kind of stupid but it’s how I feel and I can’t help it.  Before I say why let me just say I have had an AMAZING week.  My daughter and I went to the Big Time Rush (teen boy band) concert on Tuesday, Wednesday was a day off and I got a ton of shit done and Thursday was a snow day and we went sledding and had fun.  I also hit my 25 pound weight loss for the challenge this AND I now have a partner for Garage Games (XY Games) which I am so excited and so thrilled he is CCPs Member of the Month and he is Pat O. and he is awesome!   Also my daughter took her first of 3 crossfit classes this morning and did awesome.  The best thing of all though is that I was approved for something that was pending me being optic neuritis/MS flare up free for at least one year and for the past few years I was not able to hit that benchmark well I finally did and am approved.  I won’t go into it but it’s a BIG fucking deal for me – not big HUGE!

So, the reason why I am down?  Because even with all my successes and progress during this challenge and 50 pounds of weight loss since Jan 2011, I still cannot look in the mirror and like what I see.   I went to Goodwill today (With my daughter growing and me shrinking and furloughs and health insurance increases this has become my one stop shop for clothes!)  and they had a rack with workout clothes (most brand new with tags from a Target closeout)  I grabbed a pair of XL pants (no more XXL) and tried them on…they fit…but just accentuate how huge my legs and my stomach really are…..I actually had to swallow the lump in my throat so that I wouldn’t cry looking at myself.  And I just thought omg I lost 50 pounds to look like this?  I know it’s so petty but that was really how I felt today.  And it’s really messed up because last night my mother saw me and actually said omg I can see how much weight you lost (and she NEVER says stuff like that to me EVER!) so I just am feeling stupid for feeling down when I should feel great but I guess I’ll blame it on being a woman lol.

On a total trying to make myself laugh note….I just watched the video of the Goblet Squats demo (these are in tomorrow’s WOD) and I am concerned.  The guy totally looks like he is going to shit himself out there in that view of the apt complex residents or possible give birth.  I hope we don’t have to be so intense but with a 53 pound kettlebell I guess it’s possible.  I’m sure his kettlebell was much heavier then that anyway.

 

25 Lbs

So 60 days into the challenge and I have lost 25 pounds.  I keep sitting here picturing the 25 lb weights at CCP and thinking what if I had to walk around carrying one of those all day long…. or do a WOD with one of them strapped to my back….. well 60 days ago that’s basically what I was doing.  I still have a long way to go…but unlike before this challenge started, I now believe 100% in my mind that I will reach my overall weight loss goal.  When I do Body Mass Index (BMI) research, it always seems that the magic number for me is to weight no more than 149 lbs.  One year ago I had over 100 pounds to lose to reach that goal….now I am almost halfway there!  If you do the math you can tell that I lost weight before the 90 day challenge.  In the beginning of 2011 I lost about 10 pounds just from setting a New Years resolution …. and then when I started at ACF/CCP at the very end of July 2011 I lost 10 pounds the first week eating paleo and going to On Ramp.  Well that jump start was short lived, I fell back into old habits immediately.  So then for a while I eating horribly during the day and then hitting WODs at night.  No progress made.  And I was doing such a disservice to ACF/CCP by telling people I was going there and then not having any additional results to show for it.  I did have some moments of strength and managed to lose another maybe 5-6 pounds through the end of the 2011.  So basically in the last 60 days I lost the equivalent of my weight loss for the ENTIRE 12 months of 2011…..and I still have a month to spare!  The biggest lesson that I have learned since joining is that diet and exercise go hand in hand.  You will not realize your full potential unless you have both under wraps.  I think most people don’t want to believe that.  They want the quick fix and want to put as little effort into it as possible.  I was “most people” for the longest time.  Now I know first hand and I will NEVER forget that.

 

 

Balance

I just read the most recent post on the ACF website from coach Kevin in which he talked about not letting Crossfit consume you and let things in other aspects of your life get out of whack.  Well I am so so happy to read that because today I told myself that I am doing the best I can with my circumstances and with the resources I have and I was very proud of myself for even getting in to ACF as much as I  do and while doing my best to keep my family, home, work, health issues balanced.  The night of the 90 day challenge pep talk I left work, went grocery shopping near ACF, went to ACF for the talk, went to church and then went to get my daughter and then got home made dinner, did laundry, took the dog out and fed the guinea pig and I think I even updated this blog that night.  My groceries sat in the car longer than I would have liked but they were fine and I felt so accomplished.  Of course I didn’t get to hit a WOD that day but it came down to groceries/meeting or WOD and I had to make the best choice for me.  So I am glad to see that the staff at ACF want us to not go crazy and neglect other areas of our lives.  Without a smart phone or internet access during the day I may miss posts and discussions that pertain to the challenge and are important but at the end of the day I come home, sign on and try to put my 2 cents in when necessary and try to encourage others in the challenge as well. I really am doing my best and I am proud of that.  And I think that I have come to a very good balance of all the craziness that is my life and I am estatic about that!  Of course the weight loss is probably my most easily noticed accomplishment but it goes a lot deeper than that.  I am happy the way things are and I smile a lot more and I have so much hope for the future now.  So 2/3 of the way in and I’m really looking forward to the final 1/3 to really just keep working toward my goals and getting stronger and faster and of course….being better than yesterday!

Still Hungry after the Restaurant

OK so I was invited to a birthday dinner at Red Robin for a co-worker and today was the day.  I didn’t feel well this morning so I had to skip the morning WOD and go back to bed to rest.  When I got up I had a laundry list of things to do and I didn’t get a chance to eat anything.  So we were supposed to be at the restuarant at 3.  I was right on time, no one else was there…I could go have a drink at the bar or sit and wait….I sat and waited.  So I waited and waited and finally people started trickling in. Of course no one else from work who RSVP’d actually showed up so its me and the family that I don’t know.  4:30 PM we are finally seated, guess who I was sitting next to……..the freaking cake.   A big ass sheet cake with a peace sign, no cover on it so all I can smell is frosting. The one person I know is sitting at the other end of the table.  Everyone orders appetizers and insisted I have some – I did not.  At 5 PM that peace sign was just about the only thing keeping me from going into the kitchen and making my own damn salad.  When my salad finally made it to the table, it was covered in croutons so I picked them out, the lady sitting next to me was staring at me the whole time I did that.  She didn’t seem to approve much of my water, salad and side of apples.  As soon as I was done eating I asked for my check so I could get out of there and go get some food that would actually fill me.  Well separating the checks took a while so I was forced to endure cake time.   I just sat and smiled while the lady next to me was shoveling in the cake and staring at me while she did that.  As soon as I had my check I was gone.  I picked up my daughter and drove right to the grocery store to pick up some chicken to come home and cook it – I was  starving.  I absolutely adore my co-worker but omg I was hungry and salad and apples was not cutting it but Red Robin is NOT a paleo friendly place.  Now I am happy and fed and my world is back in balance!

I am starting my couch to 5k training tomorrow to get ready for the Freihofer’s Run for Women.  I will start on my treadmill and then once it gets nicer out I will run outside.  I am looking forward to it alot!  I’m so happy every time I think about it.  I would also like to hit the WOD tomorrow.  I hate lunges more than anything and there are lots of them tomorrow.  Got to get in there and face them.  I may shed some tears but that’s nothing new.    Oh I forgot to say that I did 50 burpees for the ACF team for the Crossfit Games Open.  The team is in great standings so far and I am happy that I made my contribution.  What I am NOT happy about is the fact that I actually did more than 50 but several of them did not count because I kept instinctively hitting the ring above my head with only 1 hand and to be considered a rep it had to be both hands.  That pissed me off but I will definitely learn from that and try to put more concentration into the movements.

Expect the Unexpected

Well, just as I sat down here at the computer to type this (I don’t have a cool smart phone like everyone else…(my phone barely makes phone calls!)  I decided to check facebook real quick to see what I missed and I see a link my friend posted for the Freihhofer’s Run for Women in June and she commented that she’s all registered and asked if anyone else was interested.  Before I could stop myself, before I had time to sit and think of 50 reasons why I shouldn’t, couldn’t possibly, can’t, won’t, maybe next time etc.  I expressed my interest.  Next thing you know I’m registered (saved $15 by registering early!) and the countdown has begun (really there’s a countdown on their webpage….99 days, 4 hrs, 45 minutes, 31 seconds at this moment).  I am super ridiculous excited right now…my heart might beat right out of my chest.  I have this crazy mix of emotions on loop – happy, proud, terrified, nervous, excited, holy crap what am I doing…all of this running over and over in my mind…but mostly I am just looking forward to the experience.

This was totally unexpected but I think that from now on you can expect the unexpected from me.  I’m taking things up a notch in my health and fitness goals.  Not so much for the 90 day challenge but just for me.  Every compliment that I get now, every cookie that I don’t eat, every time someone says “you can’t eat bread??” with a look of horror on their face, every time I do or do not hit a PR during a WOD,  this is all motivating me to keep moving forward and keep pushing and stay focused.  The truth is I can have bread……I’m a grown woman I can sit here and eat bread all night if I want, wash it down with some donuts, cheese crackers and M&Ms. I see those food now though, foods that I was completely mentally and physically addicted to and I don’t register the same feelings for them anymore.  I don’t see delicious treats anymore, now I see goal sabotaging garbage.  I have the upper hand right now as far as diet is concerned and I plan to keep it that way.  I am still working on getting the leafy greens into the diet more consistently, it’s a work in progress but I am doing much better overall this week with getting veggies in and have cut down on the fruit considerably. Truth is, today the scale told me that I am soon to be in what some call “One”derland meaning my weight will begin with a 1 and not a 2!   There is no food that is worth moving backward from that goal……so forward I go!  Lots of burpees tomorrow…..I’m there!

Day 51

Well, it is hard to believe that over 50 days of this challenge are done, glad for that but wow, time flies when you’re having fun.  I am starting to see the numbers on the scale get smaller once again.  I am happy about that but there’s so much else that I want to achieve besides weight loss.  I signed up for the Crossfit Open that begins this week.  I don’t know why, I wasn’t even sure what it was but 1) it’s $20 which is much more doable for me than the cost of many other events and 2) I have to get over this fear of humiliation.  I will always have anxiety in group settings I don’t see that ever not happening but I have to move forward from that.  This doesn’t seem too bad, just sounds like WODs that we would do anyway and will do them in our regular environment …maybe just to see where I rank among other crossfitters.  My guess is that most of them would rank higher than me but I guess that’s what I’m about to find out!

My daughter told me today that I am losing weight the right way and I asked her what that meant she told me that [ a family member] had surgery to lose weight but they didn’t have to do that, they should have just exercised and ate healthy food  – she says it “Helffy”.  I am glad that she is making that connection that sometimes the easy way out is not the best way.  I am not knocking anyone that has weight loss surgery – by all means do whatever is best for you.  I just like that she said that and put some thought into it.

I am a little concerned because I have been having some pain in my right shoulder.  It’s fine during WODs and not fine any other time.   Shit, I don’t even know what to do, I’ve never been active so I have never had a “sports injury”.   Of course tonights WOD was clean and jerks and ring rows so I was using my shoulder quite a bit.  I kept the clean and jerks and little lighter that I could have gone but I was scared to make it worse.  When I got home I realized the WOD was for time and I never once looked at the clock.  Oh well.  I am going to hit Hells Bells tomorrow but then I will give it a rest for a few days and do some Workouts on the Road at home that don’t involve lifting anything or using my shoulder too much.  I will probably be doing lots of squatting.  I have no problem with that.